Picture this hot-mess-express new mom sitting across the table from her husband on their first real date since having their first child.
Zach looks at me and asks "what are your goals?".
I was stumped. My goals consisted of pumping a milk stash and taking consistent monthly pictures of our child.
They, suddenly, had nothing to do with me. They had everything to do with this small human that was still a stranger in our home. My goals were about survival.
I just stared at him. I was annoyed by the question. Why now?
Then, it hit me. Where did my aspirations go? What was my calling? Motherhood is an exciting title to take on, and it certainly becomes a huge part of your legacy, but Zach and I both knew that we were called to so much more.
So, that date night changed my life. I started off talking about small dreams, but my sweet guy persisted and we, eventually, designed a Marriage Bucket List that has forever impacted our life.
How do you live a life that is Bucket List oriented? Sometimes, when singleness becomes marriage which then becomes motherhood, slowly, your identity and dreams disappear.
Here are practical steps in living a Bucket List kind of life:
Identify what Bucket List living means for you
No, I'm not telling you to write down all the dare-devil activities the adrenaline junkie in you wants to indulge in, (however, if you go swimming with sharks, please send ya girl pictures and videos).
Bucket List living is asking The Lord for vision on His calling for you, your marriage and your family, and designing your life to support these callings.
Learn to Dream Again
I noted above that Zach's date night question irritated me. I had a few moments in my mind where I wanted to roll my eyes.
Why did it get me so wound up?
I was embarrassed that I'd forgotten how to dream. Pride and fear kept me from wanting to entertain the discussion.
Dreaming for me meant praying for The Lord to open my eyes to all that He has in store and then allowing Him the space to move.
Pastor Chris Hodges shared an amazing message series on this very topic. You can watch or listen to the series here.
Articulate the Vision
Zach and I started a conversation that night that is still ongoing and thriving. What was God's vision for our life together? Did it begin and end with working a nine-to-five and popping out some babies, or were we called to a life that served a more concrete end goal?
No matter what your life looks like day-to-day, God has called you and your family to impact eternity.
How can this be possible when all mommas want to do most days is survive?
Let's be honest, some seasons are about survival and some seasons are about thriving, but every season can push you towards the vision God has laid before you.
Everything you do and every decision you make can reflect your callings.
Here is the vision Zach and I articulated: we know that we are called to impact others through family and marriage ministry. We know that we are called to raise our children to love Jesus, love people and love the Church. We also know that I was called to full-time ministry and Zach was called to, one day, own a business.
These are the specific dreams that we have prayed about and verbally articulated to one another.
Create a Game Plan
After our date, Zach and I made a list of very general lifestyle categories:
Bucket-List Dream Job
Bucket-List Dream Home
Bucket-List Lifestyle
Bucket-List Finances
Bucket-List Family (What kind of education do we want our kids to have? What kind of friends and community do we want them to grow up around? How do we want to discipline? What are our family goals?)
Then, we used the categories as topics for vision-focused conversations.
"What is your dream job? How can we position ourselves in life to help you achieve this dream?"
"Based on the calling God has placed on our lives, what does our dream home look like? Should we move? Should we have more space or less space?"
"What does our health lifestyle look like? How can we take care of our bodies to efficiently be the vessels we know we need to be to accomplish all that God has called us to?"
Having vision-focused conversations opened the door for us to be able to begin considering our decisions through a wider perspective than comfort or emotions.
Start Living it Out
Easier said than done, I know. The conversation can fire you up, but executing these things takes time and faith.
Just know that, even with everything you dream for yourself and your family, God has so much more in store. He cares about your calling and your dreams more than you do. That's saying something, isn't it?!
Zach and I recently decided to take a leap of faith towards purchasing a home that positions us in the direction of the eternal impact we know that we are called to. In faith, we've decided to put our home on the market. In faith, we're readjusting our finances to accommodate our dream home situation.
It's all exciting and terrifying. But that's okay. I'm holding to the truth that faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance in what we do not see (Hebrews 1:11).
I looked at him the other day and (jokingly) said: "I'm only 23! What are you doing to me?! I'm not ready for this!!"
But, I know that I am. We both are! We want to live for so much more!
We want to live a Bucket-List life and I want that for you, too!
All my love, Lyd
P.s. I've only taken three of Hosea's monthly pictures. He's ten months old. #HotMessExpress
Comments